So what is all this about angels. The term ICU angel is not my creation, but it is how I refer to myself and the other nurses I work with.  I ask for prayer for the ICU angels. We are all some have. We are the angels of mercy.  We go into battle daily with the devil and his demons. We trudge through the blood, tears and sweat, all to save one soul. We work on them and tell them to not give up.  We pump on their chest.  We push medicine after medicine. We whisper in their ears, talk to Jesus if you don’t know Him, ask him into your heart. We know that only God can get us through these days, and while most of us do not wear white, we are angels nonetheless.  In the Bible Angels are very important, this blog will not be about Angels, but we have all seen the Angel of death in the ICU, we have watched as he sat in the corner as our  20-year-old Patient lies there lifeless, on the vent, maxed out on every drip, no hope, still a Full code, and we see him tapping his fingers. And we tell him that he can’t have him yet.  We stay with our lifeless patient, our other patient who is fine next door ( thankfully), pulled up on the monitor.  We watch as the blood pressure won’t take, we re-position the cuff, we change arms, we finally get one….61/49. We tell the others get ready, we are about to call a code blue again….I whisper again in his ear louder.  “Cry out to Jesus!”  We hit the button, in the unit, our code blues only are heard there, they are not overhead, the doctors receive pages, but they are probably still there from the last one. The other angels come to our side.  We work again….round after round, we switch, still flatlined….no pulse, PEA, nothing…30 minutes the doctor says one more round and I will call it.  The room looks like the crash cart exploded. The afternoon was all for the same outcome…  the chair is empty, the angel of death could wait not longer, his schedule to tight and they are both gone….  He looks the same every time he comes…sometimes he leaves empty handed…but he will be back, we all know he comes back, always comes back.  I grab the doctor and we go and get the family. I grab tissue boxes and put them around the room…the hallway is so long. The doors are deafening opening…they are standing there looking “I’m sorry, he says,we did all we could do”  They want to see him, the other angels are working hard on the room. No mother should have to see a room like that.  Her  precious son.  I think of my own child almost 20, I think of the close calls he had, and I thank God He heard my prayers, he kept him safe, he spared him, I hold back the tears as the momma cries in my shoulder, and thanks me…SHE THANKS ME…I shake my head, and tell her how sorry I am. I ask God why he didn’t spare him, but I know my own answer, the head injury was too severe, the wreck.  I still don’t know why she is telling me thank you…”I prayed, and I prayed he would make it”, I tell her….  This nurse loves God.  She has seen the miracles that the Bible tells of.  She has prayed and people got better…but not this time.  My heart hurts for a momma’s pain. I tell them I’m going to get him cleaned up, I take out all the tubes, I wash his face, I talk to him and ask him why….Why were you drinking and driving.  Why….That is all we have sometimes is questions. But that is why I get up every day, leave numerous kids,  drive an hour each way, work 12 hours, all to be the angel to someone in need. All to be a shoulder, all to see and deal with tragedy after tragedy…day after day… is painful.  This blog is going to be about my eyes and what they see….All situations, names, etc will be changed, but the story will be there…The ICU Story….I pray you will take something from it….xo